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Original materials below are reproduced from Coping.org, a Public Service of James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance M. Messina, Ph.D.,  6319 Chauncy Street, Tampa, FL 33647 Email: jjmess@tampabay.rr.com  ©1999-2004 James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance Messina, Ph.D.  F. How well have you handled the shock of your child's diagnosis? Step 1: Before you can be expected to deal with your child's diagnosis of a disability, you must identify the diagnosis. You must be able to put it into words. Answer the following questions in your journal:

1. What does this diagnosis mean? What does it involve? What does it mean for the future of your child?
2. What questions did you ask and have answered after you were given the confirmed diagnosis on your child?
3. On what level of awareness are you concerning the diagnosis?
   • Minimal?
   • Partial?
   • Considerable?
4. What is your level of acceptance of this diagnosis?
5. How have you handled this diagnostic information with

• your spouse,
• your other children,
• your parents,
• in-laws,
• other family members, and
• friends?
  

7. What programs, professionals, and schools are available for your child?
8. What new things are you doing for your child, self, spouse, and family as a result of this diagnosis?
9. Which of rights of parents presented in this chapter do you feel you have not yet used?
10. How do you feel about these parental rights and how do they apply to you?


Step 2: Now that you have identified the diagnosis, you are ready to address your handling of it. Answer the following questions in your journal:

How free do I feel in bringing my child into public places like malls, restaurants, and markets, etc.?
How comfortable do I feel when strangers ask me what is wrong with my child?
How do I handle questions from my parents, in-laws, family, and friends about my child's condition?
How well do I relate to the professionals involved in my child's life?
How comfortable do I feel in being involved in a support group for parents of children with this disability?
How much hope for the future do I have? How realistic is it?
How much support do I feel from my spouse in handling the reality of my child's diagnosis?
How willing am I to face the lifelong advocacy role for my child?
How much support do I feel from other parents who have children with similar problems?
What hardships or roadblocks do I foresee in getting optimal care for my child's disability?


Step 3: Once you have assessed how you are handling your target child's diagnosis you are ready to develop a plan of action for yourself. Write this plan of action in your journal:

My Plan of Action to Handle my Child's Diagnosis

The diagnosis my child has is: __________________
I will get answers to the following questions about the diagnosis________________:
I will seek to become fully aware of the full details of the diagnosis and long-term prognosis by this date: (month, day, year):
I will perform the following tasks within the next three years to help my child with the disability diagnosed:
I will use the following rights of parents as I help my child.
I will insure the physical and mental health of (1) myself, (2) my marriage, (3) my other children, (4) my target child, (5) our family by:
I will perform the following advocacy tasks to insure that quality care is received by my target child during the next three years:
I will reassess these goals every three years. My first review date will be (month, day, year):

Step 4: If you still have problems handling the shock of diagnosis, return to Step 1 and begin again.

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