Using
Emotional Intelligence to Resolve Work
Conflicts
Says Emotional Intelligence author Daniel Goleman,
"Psychologist Haim Ginott, the grandfather of
effective-communication programs recommended that the best
formula for a complaint is “XYZ”: When you did X, it made
me feel Y, and I’d rather you did Z instead.” For example:
“When you didn’t call to tell me you were going to be late
for our dinner appointment, I felt unappreciated and angry.
I wish you’d call to let me know you’ll be late” instead of
“You’re a thoughtless, self-centered bastard,” which is how
the issue is all too often put in couples’ fights. In
short, open communication has no bullying, threats, or
insults”
