Erich asked me to give an example of false pride. I said, for example, if we were to do a workshop, me, him and someone else, but Erich insisted that he had to be the only presenter because he is the president of the company and he knows so much more than us. Then, me and the other hypothetical person refuse to do the workshop, no one gets paid and all the people who would have attended get no training.
Erich said,
"I wouldn't call it false pride. That would just be stupid."
So, I tried another example I see often at meetings, where one person dominates the conversation. No matter what the subject, this person is continually putting himself or herself forward. This board member goes on at great length about MY opinion on this issue, MY ideas for how to deal with it, ME as chair of this committee, etc. It is not that these people don't have anything to offer. They are often knowledgeable, intelligent people. What they are missing, though, is the fact by completely dominating the attention of the group they are keeping other people from being heard, people who can have other ideas that may be equally good or better, people who can also make contributions.
Erich exclaimed,
"That's just stingy !"
I laughed because I think stingy is the most negative thing Erich can ever call anyone. While I have often thought of honesty and courage as being the most important ethical values, I have come to agree with Erich that all have their place. I think stinginess - the opposite of generosity - the small, petty, mean acts that take place within organizations can also cause failure. It's sort of the "death of a thousand cuts" where each act of gossip or stinginess just reduces the respect for the organization a little bit, just makes other board members or employees a little bit less interested in working for the organization. The irony of it is that those "stingy" people really do believe that they are the best thing to ever happen to their organizations.
So, maybe false pride and stinginess really are the same things sometimes?
Erich said,
"I wouldn't call it false pride. That would just be stupid."
So, I tried another example I see often at meetings, where one person dominates the conversation. No matter what the subject, this person is continually putting himself or herself forward. This board member goes on at great length about MY opinion on this issue, MY ideas for how to deal with it, ME as chair of this committee, etc. It is not that these people don't have anything to offer. They are often knowledgeable, intelligent people. What they are missing, though, is the fact by completely dominating the attention of the group they are keeping other people from being heard, people who can have other ideas that may be equally good or better, people who can also make contributions.
Erich exclaimed,
"That's just stingy !"
I laughed because I think stingy is the most negative thing Erich can ever call anyone. While I have often thought of honesty and courage as being the most important ethical values, I have come to agree with Erich that all have their place. I think stinginess - the opposite of generosity - the small, petty, mean acts that take place within organizations can also cause failure. It's sort of the "death of a thousand cuts" where each act of gossip or stinginess just reduces the respect for the organization a little bit, just makes other board members or employees a little bit less interested in working for the organization. The irony of it is that those "stingy" people really do believe that they are the best thing to ever happen to their organizations.
So, maybe false pride and stinginess really are the same things sometimes?
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