When Will You Be Able to Afford Generosity?

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This weekend, I asked my husband did he ever think about how fortunate he was in life and he answered,

"Yes, all the time, because you always remind me because you mention it every day."

Receiving the Emmy for best picture a while back, the producer of It's a Beautiful Life, an Italian film, thanked his parents for the advantage of raising him in poverty. A few of the Hollywood commentators, well commented on that, wondering how anyone can appreciate growing up in poverty.

I can. I didn't see a dentist until I was 19 years old, when my mother got dental insurance as part of her job. Since I was still in college, I was covered under her insurance and went to the dentist many times because, after 19 years of no dental care, you can imagine that I had a lot that needed to be done.

I was flossing my teeth this morning and a couple of thoughts crossed my mind. First, when I was younger we didn't have dental floss because it wasn't needed and we only had money for what was absolutely necessary. Second, throughout most of history, and today in most of the parts of the world, a great many women my age don't have all of their teeth because they haven't had the dental care I've had in the last thirty years.

Like everyone, I have bills to pay. I have to buy my daughter school clothes, pay for the older daughter's college education and all of those other necessities of life. When I see charities that deserve help, I always tell myself I will send them a check when I get more money. I don't have a very extravagant lifestyle, or so I tell myself. The picture above is from our vacation last year in Palm Springs. It's close and I had never been, so we drove there and did things like showing my youngest daughter how you can skip a flat rock across the water.

And that is when it hit me, not for the first time -  I am an idiot.

I've read many articles that say no matter how much money people have, when you ask them how much they would need to be happy and satisfied, the average person always names a figure more than they have now. People who make $10,000 a year would be happy with $25,000, people who make $100,000 would be happy if they made $200,000 and so on.

I am always going to give more later. Later, when I have this proposal finished I will spend time with my daughter. Later, when all of the bills are paid I will send a check to that charity.

And I realized that  I could not afford dental floss, much less a dentist to tell me to use it, when I was young and now I take my whole family on vacation to a resort in Palm Springs. I got on line, found that charity website and gave them a donation on the spot.

Thirty-five years ago, I was working as a waitress in an all-night restaurant for under $2 an hour while working my way through school. Now, I have had so many proposals funded over the years, I can't keep track. Maybe this one will get funded. I really hope so. If not, there will be another one. When my daughter asked me to take her to Universal Studios, I did not say "Later". I told her to invite her friends and off we went to Whoville.

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Because I did not start out life with much, I have the advantage of appreciating what I have now, of realizing that I can afford to be generous now, both with my money and with my time.

That, I think, is a true advantage of growing up in poverty, of realizing later in life of how fortunate we truly are and that we CAN afford to be generous, now.


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