I asked a very experienced board president who I admire if he had any advice for a new president or chair. He said,
"When you have won a victory it is time for you to be magnanimous."
Generosity. That's one of the four Dakota virtues Erich stresses in his ethics courses. In the book, The Genius of Sitting Bull, 13 Heroic Strategies for Today's Business Leaders, the authors state that Sitting Bull was a "healer", not in the medical sense but in the sense of healing conflicts among their people. They state,
"Leaders bestow beneficence, generosity and compassion upon their people. "
The first lesson, then, for a new board president is not to "out to get" those who voted against you.
In a really interesting blog on generosity of spirit, Seraphine mentions the tendency in any conflict situation to focus on how others have hurt us and forget that there is more than enough hurt to go around. In fact, since your opponents lost, they are likely hurting more than you.
Seraphine resolves to "think the best of other people's intentions .. Even if their decisions are problematic or hurtful, I want my first assumption to be that they had a reason for what they did that seemed important. "
Following her advice has already helped me a little, in that I don't respond immediately to people who attack me as board president. I do try to understand their point of view and why they have taken such a position.
The next step is to follow Sitting Bull's model of healing the divisions within the group. That step, I think, is going to be harder.
"When you have won a victory it is time for you to be magnanimous."
Generosity. That's one of the four Dakota virtues Erich stresses in his ethics courses. In the book, The Genius of Sitting Bull, 13 Heroic Strategies for Today's Business Leaders, the authors state that Sitting Bull was a "healer", not in the medical sense but in the sense of healing conflicts among their people. They state,
"Leaders bestow beneficence, generosity and compassion upon their people. "
The first lesson, then, for a new board president is not to "out to get" those who voted against you.
- Don't publicly embarrass them. Be honest with yourself, were you opponents really evil, incompetent people, or did they just want the same job as you? If they have good qualities your organization could use, emphasize that. Thank your supporters but don't disparage those who supported your competition.
- If a person is qualified for a job, put him in it, whether he supported you or someone else.
- Try to see the other person's point of view.
In a really interesting blog on generosity of spirit, Seraphine mentions the tendency in any conflict situation to focus on how others have hurt us and forget that there is more than enough hurt to go around. In fact, since your opponents lost, they are likely hurting more than you.
Seraphine resolves to "think the best of other people's intentions .. Even if their decisions are problematic or hurtful, I want my first assumption to be that they had a reason for what they did that seemed important. "
Following her advice has already helped me a little, in that I don't respond immediately to people who attack me as board president. I do try to understand their point of view and why they have taken such a position.
The next step is to follow Sitting Bull's model of healing the divisions within the group. That step, I think, is going to be harder.
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