Avoiding Abuse: Steps to Reduce Anger

3. Calm Yourself
Let's go back to "intra-personal intelligence" for a moment. Intra-personal intelligence involves knowing oneself, being able to recognize your own emotions, "Wait, I don't really want to fire that person. I am just angry right now." It also means being able to exert self-control to redirect your first emotional reaction to fit more with your own best interests and desires.

Think about strategies to calm yourself that you can use rather than lashing out at a co-worker or employee. According to Goleman, and fellow psychologist, Diane Tice, a common method for many people is to go off alone and give themselves time to cool down. For men, this often means going out for a drive. Our reservations are rich in places of natural beauty where one can drive, walk or sit quietly alone.

"Walking it off" combines two strategies for reducing anger, exercise and going somewhere else to get away from the source of your anger.

Important : The purpose is to calm yourself. This is where intra-personal intelligence comes in. You should not be driving down the back roads muttering under your breath how that $%@! Joe found a mistake in your budget and when you get back to the office you are going to find the person who was responsible, skin him alive and tack his hide outside the door of your office as a warning.

Distracting yourself is another effective strategy for reducing anger. Read that report, business journal or grant proposal you've had on your desk for the last week. Call back the client who left a message this morning. When you get home, don't sit around feeling angry about what happened in the office and planning to make someone pay. Watch a movie, read a book, go play pool or basketball with some friends. Many reservations have a workout room sponsored by the tribal college, Diabetes Fitness or other wellness project. Turtle Mountain Community College has a walking track in the gym, open to the public. Spirit Lake has a Diabetes Fitness Center with treadmills, stationary bikes and weights.

Find out the hours, use these programs yourself on your lunch break or after work and encourage your employees to do the same.