We read a lot on "passive-aggressive" personalities. From our experience, we think that misses the point with a lot of the children we know. Yes, there definitely are those kids who will forget their homework because "You can't tell me what to do!" and they are going to show you, but in most cases, we have not found that to be the issue.
The 'passive' difficult children, may be characterized as "Emotionally Disturbed", "Withdrawn", "Passive-Aggressive", "Depressed" or even "Oppositional Defiant". While there are children who fit all those diagnoses, according to Spirit Lake President, Dr. Erich Longie,
"When you see a student who doesn't do any school work, doesn't come to school half the time, sleeps at the desk and doesn't do any work during school, sometimes it is a sign of some disability. More often, in my experience, though, it is just a habit and any disability is a coincidence. People who work, plan their life around their work. I see that all the time -
* I can't go to the pool tournament because I have to work at the gas station.
* I can't go to the pool tournament because I can't stay up late because I have to open the store in the morning.
People who have a non-working lifestyle are just the opposite.
* I can't go to that job interview, because I have to check the mail.
* I can't go to that appointment because I have to go visit my friend.
What does this have to do with non-compliant children? Here is the key point - they did not learn those habits overnight. As a third-grade teacher, these were the same students who did not make it to school every day because they did not want to get up in time to get on the bus - and nobody made them do it."
Next problems: Parents and behavior problems