Abuse of People with Disabilities
Risk factor # 2: Lack of social support.
A formerly very good teacher and dean of a College of Education once commented to me that he was so tired of people who wanted to go in to teaching because they "loved children" and yet were unwilling to admit the fact that there will be some days when they just hate the thought of looking at their little faces for even one more second. His point was, that no matter how wonderful you are, no matter how much you love children, there will be some days when you have HAD IT! People burn out; they need a break, a full night's sleep, a moment to relax. Single parents, whether male or female, are more likely to abuse their children than parents who are married. If you have ever had children of your own, you are no doubt well aware of the fact that there are days when you JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!!! At such times, it is a huge help if you have a spouse, or other person, be it a grandmother or next-door neighbor, with whom you can leave the child for a short time while you calm down. For some reason - strong Catholicism, lack of family planning or temporary insanity - I had my first three children within a span of four years. I was fortunate enough to have a husband who had a fairly good income, but that meant he often worked twelve or fourteen hour days, during which I had to get my reading and course assignments done (oh, yes, I was also doing my doctoral work at this time), feed, bathe and entertain the children, clean up the house, etc. There were days when he would walk in the door and I would hand him a baby I was carrying on each arm and say, "Take them, they are yours for the next hour, I am going out for a cup of coffee." What if there was no one else to hand them off to?
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Cute, aren't they? You try taking care of an eight-month old and twenty-month-old for fourteen hours a day! Social support - behaviorism is a theory that states that behavior is determined through a system of rewards and punishments? Children are not particularly appreciative by nature. They EXPECT the world to revolve around them. Who is more likely than the child's father to reinforce and praise the mother for all of the work that she does? Michael Lamb, editor of the book The father's role in child development commented that one of the most important effects that fathers have might be indirect, as a source of support for the mother. |
